Videos
Podcast: I Do Until I Don’t – Episode 7
The Prenup Generation Gap
In this episode of I Do Until I Don’t, attorneys Marvin Mendez and Martin Sliwinski take on a topic that is reshaping how younger couples approach marriage: the prenuptial agreement.
Marvin and Martin explore the generational divide in how prenups are viewed, negotiated, and used—from the older generation’s “protect what you have” mindset to millennials who are proactively planning for wealth they are confident is on its way. They discuss the statistics behind millennial prenup adoption, the emergence of online prenup platforms, and the expanding range of provisions younger couples are requesting&emdash;including intellectual property rights, embryo disposition, and protections against the rising cost of litigation.
They also address the role of AI in the prenup process directly: where it can help, where it falls short, and why attorney-client privilege is a consideration that no online platform can replicate.
Whether you are considering a prenup for the first time or rethinking your assumptions about who needs one, this episode offers honest, practical perspectives from two attorneys who have seen the full spectrum of what happens when families plan ahead—and when they do not.
Key Moments:
00:00 – AI & Prenups
00:30 – Millennials vs older generations
01:30 – Why younger people want prenups
03:38 – HelloPrenup / tech tools
04:30 – Embryos, IP & Future Assets
5:45 – Divorce costs & litigation
8:25 – Why attorneys still matter
14:18 – Final thoughts
Transcript:
Marvin: I’m fascinated also by this new AI world. How much do we or should we rely on AI solely for purposes of creating a prenup or a contractual agreement?
Martin: I think it’s still helpful to have an attorney. If you only have communication with a chatbot, then there’s no attorney client privilege.
[Music]
Marvin: Hey yo. [What’s up, Marvin?] Young guy. [What’s our topic for today?] We’re talking about prenups. [Okay.] Talking about prenups from how I see it and we’re talking about prenups as to how your generation now see it.
Martin: Okay. I think there’s a little bit of a generational divide here. You know, millennials, I’ll take on them and [Don’t, don’t.] older generation.
Marvin: Don’t go there. Don’t go there, Marty. [laughter] But yes, I acknowledge the general generational divide, right? I think that has a lot of importance in family law and in so many things, right? But looking at it from a lot of younger generation, your generation, as opposed to my generation are really focused on the understanding of prenups and how to protect themselves. And I find that quite interesting, right? Like for me, you know, the relevance of prenups really didn’t come until my 30s when I was a little bit older and I was around family law and I understood that it was necessary to protect yourself and it made sense. But I think a lot of your generation probably started hearing about this a lot sooner, right? Probably became the norm.
Martin: They did. Listen to some of these statistics. So in terms of millennials, 47% have indicated of married individuals that they have a prenup in place. In the United Kingdom, over half of individuals say that they want their future spouse to sign a prenup.
Marvin: What do what do you think is the impetus behind their, you know, their thought process and and being so informed about this, right? I’m guessing it’s a plus, right? And I’m probably answering my question with an answer at the same time, but I’m thinking just all the tech that’s available nowadays. [Absolutely.] There’s so many podcasts on this.
Martin: And not only that from the millennial perspective, right, we view the world in a different way, where we’re worried about: Are we going to be able to afford a house? Are we going to pay our student loans, right? Can I even open up a bar tab cuz I’m going to forget to close it out, right? [Wow.] We’re in a situation where we want to be prepared, right? And I think there’s this misconception out there that only celebrities get prenups. Only high-income earners that have complex cases with a lot of businesses, a lot of assets, those are the ones that get prenups. And if you don’t have a lot, you don’t need one.
Marvin: You know, I think that’s the generation that I grew up with, right? Where Yeah. I think once you had something did you plan to protect it, after the fact, right, once you’ve established something or had some vision as to where you were going, but I think mostly once you had the assets already and you saw yourself making certain kind of money or needed something to protect specifically. And I think the way the newer generation is may not have it but they’re so confident in themselves and I love this they’re like I will get there right and so you start to look at the many avenues that a younger generation can create wealth, whether it’s through inheritance, right, and they want to protect that, whether it’s through you know going university and be you know obtaining their careers and becoming successful in the future and knowing that success is a foregone conclusion or you know their own path that they take now with a lot of influencers and the money can be generated from that so I value that and I think it’s quite important. But I’m just really trying to understand, like where else do you see being the reason that these…
Martin: Yeah, another big reason I would say is the availability of technology. So when COVID hit, especially our generation, no one was going to offices anymore. So they would go online and they would embark or you know embark on these different programs such as for example Hello Prenup is a popular one. It was actually on Shark Tank I believe. Oh really? Yeah. And yeah one of the sharks actually invested in it because they were like this is a great idea. And it’s strange because they like they thought of it as a business, right? Like a prenup as a business. Like you’re putting in your contingencies, right, in place early so that you’re protected down the line. And you look at these applications, and you go on the site, and I used it just for my own edification just to see how the process works. [Oh, great. Love you doing your research before.] Yeah. And you know they ask you a variety of questions, right? You just get a, you know, they ask you about everything under the sun, every possible scenario that might happen in the future. Are you going to want to freeze your embryos, right? Like crazy questions that you just don’t think about.
Marvin: See, that’s fascinating, right? Because even during my generation, right, we’re looking at prenups. We’re usually being educated by what people want, what they’re interested in doing for themselves, what their goals are, and then we advise them based on the limited information they share to us. And we advise them according to…uh say to our understanding of the world, to what we knew before all this technology became relevant and made things easier. So, I’m fascinated that Hello Prenup, for example, and I’m not trying to give them any free advertising here, but I’m fascinating by your research that it does expand on all these particular items because these are relevant topics that should be discussed and not addressed with later on in court. And the embryo is a really important thing because during my generations when you started creating case law [Yeah.] about well during the divorce process who gets to keep the embryos. But now you’re thinking ahead of it because a lot of people perhaps are not getting married or getting married later in life and recognizing we may not have children, [Right.] but I want to protect my eggs at a younger age and then you know have babies at a later date because they want to focus themselves on their careers…
Martin: Fascinating. Now there’s a third component [Do tell.] that I would say millennials take into consideration, which, and this is this may be a secret to us, or maybe it’s not: litigation is expensive [Oh.] It’s expensive to go through a divorce case. And so if you can think in advance, right, and you can resolve some of those issues, because even if you don’t have a lot of income, I think prenups are still very effective [Ure.] and you should definitely venture out and seek an attorney and discuss this component because we see it all the time. Even if something’s quote unquote a foregone conclusion. [Sure.] One party goes ahead and makes it a means of harassment. When I say it, I mean litigation. [Sure. Sure.] I will file every motion possible to deny you spousal support. Right. [Correct.] When that is something that could have been de determined in a prenuptial agreement. [Correct.] You could wave maintenance, right, in advance and then you don’t even have that litigation. They can’t file a motion because you’ve already filed your motion to admit the prenup. [Right.] Right?
Marvin: You know, I’m kind of fascinated by this earlier topic. You know, when you mentioned the embryos, right? And it talks about… I think what fascinates me is that there’s so many other topics. You know, when I prepare a prenuptial agreement [Yes.], it gives you just a general umbrella that hopefully covers everything, right? There’s certain items that tend to be a little more specific than others. There are certain items that tend to address particulars, [Right.] and that’s helpful and certain contingencies, but you know, we’re talking about specificities in this situation. [We are.] What other items are you hearing younger generation considering in their prenuptial analysis?
Martin: You know, I don’t want to overgeneralize, [Sure.] but back in the day, a lot of people viewed prenups as a mechanism for one spouse to sort of take advantage of another spouse who doesn’t have a lot of assets. [Okay?] Millennials are shifting away from that. [Okay.] Now, it’s a situation where we understand: hey, look, if you’re a young, for example, female screenwriter, right? Maybe one day one of your, you know, writings that you have catches on and becomes a movie. [Okay.] Right. Well, how do you anticipate that? Well, in the prenup, right, that intellectual property, you can assign it to yourself, right? [Interesting.] So, anything that results from their work would be theirs, right?
Marvin: That’s kind of fascinating. But you imagine I’m the other person [Sure.] on this side, right? I’m like, hold on. You put, you know, my ability to do XYZ allowed you the luxury of being at home and taking care of yourself, right? Like, how do you factor for those negotiations into that?
Martin: Yeah, I think it, I think it depends, right? Is that our new slogan [Yeah, yeah.] for I Do Until I Don’t? It depends, right?
Marvin: I think that’s going to be a great new name for this podcast. It depends. Sure, why not? I like that.
Martin: It’s the typical attorney answer, right? But to take a stab at it, which is that’s the negotiation component of the prenuptial agreement. And that’s why even though there’s all this AI out there, all these chatbots that you communicate and generate forms, I think it’s still helpful to have an attorney at the end of the day, right? Someone like us that can go through [Yeah.] and walk you through that process.
Marvin: You know, I’m fascinated also by this new AI world. You know, I’m still learning it. I’m still going through the process. I’m [Right.] I’m adapting to it because either, you know, I get on it or I get left behind. [Exactly.] And the reality is it has made my life easier in many aspects and given me ideas for certain things. But how much do we or should we rely on AI solely for purposes of creating a prenup or a contractual agreement?
Martin: I think the starting point has to still be the attorney, right? There still has to be that personal connection. There’s a couple reasons for this. For example, one is if you only have communication with a chatbot, then there’s no attorney-client privilege. Isn’t that interesting? Right? There’s no attorney on the other side. You’re providing all this data, all this information, all your thoughts, all of your positions to, you know, an online program, not to an attorney. So, there’s no privilege there, right? There’s actually individuals out there who want there to be privilege. And I think that’s crazy idea as well, right? Something to consider. But if you do have an attorney, you do have that privilege, right? [And I think that goes for anything else.] Correct. [Right. Any legal issue…] Anything you’re submitting online on a form, you know. [Wow.] Anytime you’re trying to replace an attorney, there’s a consideration there.
Marvin: Look, I think I’m all on board with AI. I think it’s a foregone conclusion. [Right.] I think it’s the way of the future. I do think that AI or, you know, whatever platform you use should be used to get a preliminary understanding of it, [Yes.] because I think the nuance is in the details of whatever word, right? You may put into an agreement, we agree to the assets being divided. Okay. What does assets mean? [Right?] How do you define that specifically? Or you may use a word that is very common and typical to yourself or your generation. And it may mean something like this, but when you bring this matter ultimately, let’s say you’re challenging the prenup at a later date or you’re looking to enforce it. Well, what does that mean? And I’ve run into situations where a lot of clients are starting to send me, this is the outcome. This is the outline. This is a potential hearing that you want, right? Or this is what we want included. Look, I’m going to say a lot of the stuff is pretty on point or pretty good. [Sure.] But then there’s those particular nuances that when I ask them, or I stress test the theory or the creativity that they’re coming up with, right? They don’t know how to answer specific questions to what’s being put on there, whether what is this word? What is this paragraph? How can this be interpreted? Are there many interpretations of one particular thing? [Right.] Is a comma or semicolon used appropriately? And I think that’s where you get the benefit of an attorney. And so, while I’m not against these Hello Prenups, which seems quite interesting. [It does.] I want to get more into it. I want to understand those [Yeah, you should.] from you later on, or all these other podcasts that continue to talk to you about prenups and how it works. I think there is a significant importance, notwithstanding right the generational divide, to get an attorney, right, involved in a matter so that you can explain to them [Right.] what it means so that I can explain to them what it means. But I also think it’s super important for us right at the older generation to be aware of what AI offers and what this younger generation is looking to do and protect themselves because I really love what you said: they’re looking to proactively prepare themselves [Correct.] understanding that they came from nothing understanding that perhaps they came from a generation during the 2008 financial crisis where their parents lost their homes, couldn’t afford their homes. The younger generation, where housing is super expensive, where income isn’t probably through the roof for certain people, and they can’t afford to pay something. Where rents are so… where there isn’t an expectancy of I’m going to have a retirement account, I’m going to have whatever I’m going to have. But to the extent that they do have something, they’re very proactive saying, “Not that I want to exclude you from this, and we’re building a future, but this is mine. I work hard for it, and I want to be able to protect this without then being screwed by later on later on by someone or the pro… or the process, the litigation process, right? [We talked about that] Which can be super expensive.” Anything else that you want to add to this?
Martin: No, I think that was particularly effective, right? I agree with you. I think everything is a symbiosis, right? You go hand in hand: AI, yes, as a tool, right? But also to have the attorney there, right, to assist you, to explain everything to you, to be there to answer all your questions in a way that there’s a sort of a human relationship there.
Marvin: Yeah. Yeah. And I think I’m really excited to learn about what the younger generation values and needs to be considered in this, right? The patent, right? The patent is pretty interesting, right? Because from my perspective, okay, you get the patent, but what happens to the work that you put in after the marriage, right? How does that get resolved, or if you don’t address it properly? The embryos, right? That’s super important. The new creative way of this younger generation making money, right? Because there’s so many details in that you need to understand the various layers associated with that. So…
Martin: I don’t recall the exact statistic. But I did see that millennials have a very high percentage of separated and divorced parents, right? So, they’ve seen their parents go through the process, right? And they’re sort of adapting to it in their own way, which is again using technology, right? Being very cautious as to potential expenses that may come down the road, [Yeah.] In a way that perhaps their parents, grandparents, right, you know, maybe they were by either social norms or religious norms more expected to stay together. [Sure.] In other cases where they would have been divorced.
Marvin: So what I’m getting is prenups are important, whether… you know, it’s no longer whether you have it or don’t have it. Right. It’s if you have it and if you don’t have it, right? Right. It’s an expectation of what you could potentially do and the creativity behind protecting yourself as much as possible and being proactive in that. I think there are many tools, right, that can facilitate the prenup process, right? But I don’t think that the tools alone will help you get the results that you’re trying to achieve because you may come up with an agreement that you think is solid and protected. But I’m just learning there’s no attorney-client privilege. Right. [Right.] But you also may come up with an agreement that you think means something, but in the legal point or perspective or view, [Exactly.] it means something entirely different. So maybe work jointly with it, right? Being cautious of what the attorney-client privilege is. [Perfect.] And from a generational divide. Yeah, I acknowledge that we see things from one way and I think we need to keep an open mind and learning what things the younger generation values which is a historical thing which is what they may consider in the future and what is it that what they currently value right now. This has been helpful. Thanks, Marty.
Martin: Yeah, this has been great.
Marvin: All right. Thanks, guys.
Martin: Till next time.